Tornado

Being a Brummie lad by birth, I really shouldn't, but I can't resist it.

Tornado rips through Birmingham - causes millions of pounds worth of improvements...

State of Alert

Saw this posted on Heroes & Villains and had to nick it...

Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide'. The only two higher alert levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's only white flag factory, effectively paralyzing their military.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, The Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gonef rom "isolationism" to "find somewhere else in the middle east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "take on the world" and "ask the British for help".

Finally here in GB we've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Our higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".

Pointless

Has there ever been a more worthless warm-up match than this ?

Gallstad 0-14 Aston Villa

I mean, six goals for a guy who only came on at half-time ? How exactly does this help prepare for a Premiership season ?

Lording it up

My prediction for today's cricket looked a bit crap at tea. One hour later, and I'm brushing shoulders with Nostradamus. Pitch looks a little capricious for a Test first day - perhaps it'll flatten out tomorrow. Gotta pray we're the one's batting if it does...

Ashes to Ashes

Okay, so the phoney war is over, and the real Ashes battle starts tomorrow. Here's my predictions on how the series will go.

Lords : McGrath to bowl Australia to comfortable victory.
Edgbaston : England's pace quartet level the series.
Old Trafford : Warne skittles England's second innings to go 2-1 up.
Trent Bridge : High-scoring draw sees Australia retain Ashes.
Oval : England on top, but Aussies hold on for draw and series win.

I'm sorry, but until McGrath and Warne retire, I just don't think England are quite good enough...not that there's any shame in that, those two are both all-time greats.

Teenager wins child curfew challenge

Glad to see this youngster has shown up blanket ASBOs for the crap they are. We've got one in our town, which means some of the lads I play cricket with can't even wander in to buy a bag of chips ! Of course, what the police should be doing is cracking down on the couple of dozen youngsters who ARE causing trouble, but why penalise the few when you can penalise the many !

ICE ICE baby

East Anglian Ambulance Service have launched a national "In case of Emergency (ICE)" campaign with the support of Falklands war hero Simon Weston and in association with Vodafone's annual life savers award.

The idea is that you store the word "ICE" in your mobile phone address book, and against it enter the number of the person you would want to be contacted "In Case of Emergency". In an emergency situation ambulance and hospital staff will then be able to quickly find out who your next of kin are and be able to contact them.

For more details click here.

It's so simple - everyone can do it. Please do. Please will you also forward this to everybody in your address book, it won't take too many forwards' before everybody will know about this. It really could save your life.

Also recommended by Vodafone.

Tough Day

I'm feeling a little emotional after today (and yes, perhaps a little tired too), so this is likely to turn into a rant, but here goes.

God I love Britain. The way we deal with tragedy is so fucking cool. People just like us are dying a few thousand yards from where we stand, and what do we do ? We go down the pub, get pissed and make jokes about it.

And here's the crucial thing - WHY do we do that ?

Because we KNOW. We know innocent people's lives have been cut short in their prime. We know there are families who will be devastated by today's events, and may never recover. We know that we can't start to express even one iota of this, even though we all feel it, because it's just too damn painful to discuss. And most of all, we KNOW we have to carry on as if it never happened - and in that is our victory.

A Letter To The Terrorists, From London

Too fucking right

London Calling

Amazing how a city's mood can go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in less than 24 hours.

First hint I got that something was up this morning was a Fire Investigation van belting past me at high speed on the A13 at just after 9am.

It's been a fairly mad day - have had calls or messages from both brothers in Plymouth, my cousin in the British Virgin Islands, and a colleague on holiday in New Zealand.

Canary Wharf is deserted - no sign of suicide bombers, shot or otherwise, but they've closed the complex to traffic, and entrance to the shopping centre is via one (monitored) door only. Found myself humming The Specials as I crossed the road...

Hello, mobile phone reception is coming back - first time in about three hours. Suspect the firm may need to re-think its policy of keeping people informed via Blackberry and SMS in a disaster situation.

Tim Worstall is keeping a running log of events here if you want more information.

Foiled by fake boobs

This is a great story

Child Logic

Son number one is really getting into the swing of his reading, so I often ask him to read things as we walk around places, so he gets the habit of reading away from books. In the chip shop the other day, I asked him to read a couple of signs.

Infoholic UK : What does that say ?

SN1 : Easy, "No dogs".

IUK : And that one

SN1 : "No smoking"...(Pause)...Daddy, dogs aren't allowed to smoke in here !