This Twitter lark

So I've been checking out Twitter, and have started out by following Stephen Fry and Iain Dale.

Fry has been tweeting a bloody darts commentary tonight. Stephen Fry. Watches darts.I kid you not. Tomorrow, the Queen will probably send me an email saying how much she likes TV Burp.

I swear I've gone fucking mad. If Sid Waddell pops up on Dave presenting QI, I'll know for sure.

Superbowl Preview

As I always do at this time of year, I've booked Monday off so I can stay up all night to watch the Superbowl. This year's extravaganza is in Tampa Bay, featuring Bruce Springsteen as the half-time entertainment.

In the red corner, representing the NFC, are, amazingly, the Arizona Cardinals. The perennial losers of the NFL limped into the playoffs at 9-7 after clinching an appallingly weak division with 4 weeks to go. Nobody gave them a prayer - me included - but deserved wins over Atlanta, Carolina and Philadelphia means they are there on merit. They have a very well-balanced offence, with two quality and diverse running backs, a former MVP and superbowl winning QB, and arguably the best receiver in the game, Larry Fitzgerald. However it is the defence that has been responsible for the turnaround in form, forcing an incredible number of interceptions, particularly from Jake Delhomme.

The AFC champions, who will be wearing white, are the Pittsburgh Steelers. They have a functional rather than exciting offence, but an incredibly mean and aggressive defence, and they'll be hoping to become the first franchise to win six superbowls.

The key to the game, as it so often is in Superbowls, will be at the line. If Arizona can protect Warner and punch enough holes to allow James and/or Hightower to keep the linebackers honest, then they have the weapons to damage Pittsburgh. If the Steelers can shut down the running game and force Warner to throw under pressure into that magnificent secondary, it'll be Pick City.

So for me, the game could go one of two ways. It'll either be a low scoring nail-biter like last year, or a complete blowout in favour of Pittsburgh. I'll be rooting for Arizona, but having tipped Pittsburgh at the start of the play-offs, I see no reason to change that now, and I think it'll be one game too far for the Cardinals.

Pittsburgh by at least two touchdowns.

One two, one two

Ok, let's see if the Blackberry is up to it.

So I've decided to start writing again. Got to find something to do during all these train delays

Grrr, trains. Don't get me started. How can a service that supposedly runs every 15 minutes possibly be 20 minutes late ?

Sony need to get their arse in gear

Sony's latest PS3 firmware upgrade (2.52) has resulted in a small but significant minority of machines (including mine) suddenly being unable to play discs. At all. That's right, no games, no DVDs, no Blu-Ray. Can still play anything on the hard drive, but that's a very small proportion of what we use it for.

Looking at the forums, Sony are being completely unsympathetic about it. I will be expecting a lot better when I call tomorrow.

Thankfully, my machine is still in warranty (just), but it does seem a bit much that if Sony break it after the warranty elapses, they are somehow not liable. And yet you can't choose not to upgrade (well you can, but then you can't do anything online).

Overrated

Foreplay is overrated, says the Daily Telegraph.

Foreplay ? Nah.

Coldplay however...

Random Musings

A setback for the Villa at Newcastle last night. Watched in the not-exactly-salubrious surroundings of the Nag's Head on Upper Street. Thought we dominated the game and should have been 2 or 3 to the good before they scored - once they got in front they grew in confidence and we could have lost by 3 or 4. Think some of the squad maybe had one eye on Thursday's UEFA cup game against Slavia in Prague. Ridiculous that for the second time this season we have to play Monday-Thursday-Sunday - you don't see the so called Big 4 having to do that.

Got home uneventfully, moderately the worse for wear, but acceptably so considering 6 hours in the pub. Watched the Colts v Patriots game I'd taped from the previous night. A not entirely unexpected close defeat, but Jabar Gaffney dropped an absolute stone blind TD in the 3rd quarter from Cassell's only decent throw of more than 10 yards all night. More frustration. Game against the Bills this weekend is now crucial - winners will be set fair for the division, losers struggling for a wild-card. Only consolation is that other than the Titans, everyone is beating everyone in the AFC this year, so 9-7 could conceivably get you into the play-offs.

Woke to an extremely sore throat, cough and temperature. Followed my own rules (must go to office after night in pub, even if genuinely sick), and it was miraculously gone after a shower. Very odd...

M25 utterly shagged this morning, with the usual effects on the local roads. Mrs I tried to give me a lift further down the line, but the road south was even worse and we had to turn back. Took 45 minutes to crawl the 2 miles to the local station, not the best way to start the day.

Off to Arsenal v Man U this weekend, courtesy of those terribly nice chaps at McGregor Boyall. Bacon sandwiches and beer from 10:45 in the hospitality area - shall be pleasantly sloshed by mid-afternoon. Would like to see England v Pacific Islands if possible, but will play it by ear.

Have turned into a Facebook whore - gone from 12 to 30 odd friends in the last week. Starting to see the attraction at long last - seems there's a critical mass at which point reward outstrips effort.

Hamilton.....WINS !

Well, that was triumph to disaster and back again in a matter of minutes, wasn't it ?

The new wooden floors meant that when I jumped up and punched the air in my socks, I nearly went flat on my arse. Got me to thinking - what other top sporting conclusions have had me pacing around this living room and punching the air, and where does this rank ?

5...Germany 1 England 5, 2001

Sven takes over with England struggling to qualify after Keegan's disastrous reign, and this is the penultimate scene in the play. Owen hat-trick supported by Gerrard and Heskey. We didn't even play that well, we just took every chance. Meh...who cares ? Dancing around the room with son number one (then aged two).

4...Rugby World Cup Final 2003 - England v Australia

Astonishing that this is fourth, but I suppose the long period of English dominance made this seem almost expected, and we'd already won the game twice and had it pulled away by the referee. And then Saint Johnny, on his wrong foot. Tears in eyes, lump in throat. Marvellous.

3...Superbowl XXXVI - New England Patriots v St Louis Rams, 2002

17 years of following the perennially awful Patriots finally paid off in this upset over the "Greatest Show on Turf", who has been champions two years earlier and were expected to win easily again. The Patriots got well ahead but were pegged back by the experienced Rams. A superbowl had never been won by a field goal as time ran out before - it has now ! It may have been 3am, but I still jumped up, punched the air, and smashed my hand on a light fitting.

2...Brazilian Grand Prix 2008

Cruising to the finish with 6 laps left and the heavens open. Hamilton finds himself in exactly the spot he needs after the pit-stops, but disaster strikes with two laps to go when Vettel (surely a world champion in waiting himself) overtakes and looks good to hold it to the finish. Massa crosses the line for the win, but with two corners to go, Hamilton overtakes a limping Glock, who'd not changed his dry tyres for a memorable finish. Felt genuinely sorry for the Ferrari team, who thought they'd won when Vettel crossed first.

1...2nd Ashes Test, Edgbaston, 2005

Big crowd in expectation of an England victory, with the Aussies still a hundred away with only two wickets remaining. The defecit is reduced and reduced and reduced, for the loss of just one. Big Harmy rouses himself for one last effort, and sends a bouncer down the leg side to Kasper. A slightly thicker glance and it's four and the Ashes virtually secured for Australia, but Geraint Jones clings on. Technically it's not out, as the batsmen's glove was not on the bat at point of contact, but nobody cares. I wore a groove in the carpet for this one, and its top of the list because it was slow agony for two hours, and despair flipped to ecstacy with one ball. Amazing.

Anyone else want to submit their top 5 armchair moments ?

I will follow this up with the top 5 "I was there" and top 5 "I was in a pub" shortly...

Unemployment

Technically, I'm unemployed at the moment. My contract with my previous employer finished last Friday, and my new one doesn't commence until 12th May. Things to do for the four weeks off in no particular order.

1..Don't die - minimal life insurance at present.

2..Nobody in family to get sick - no private health care.

3..Lots of lunches. Piano Lounge in Epping yesterday - lovely, if a little quiet.

4..Install new hard drive in son number one's PC. Impressive that it packed up only two weeks after I gave it to him. Naturally my new quad core monster ticks along nicely. Replacement drive arrived yesterday, now I just have to work out how to put the bugger in...

5..Fully utilise my leaving gifts. 6 bottles of fine wine and 3 computer games - they know me so well !

6..Generally arse about...stick to what you're good at I say.

7..Five days in Cyprus without the kids - thanks Mum !

A call to arms

In response to this eye-popping announcement about compulsory fingerprinting for all at UK airports, direct action is now required.

It's no use petitioning the Government, we know they're not listening - we have to hit private companies where it hurts and make them understand what their customers want - make them lobby for us for a change.

Therefore I have posted the following in the comments on the related Telegraph comment article.

Right, enough is enough.

There's only one way to stop this nonsense.

"I will not buy a ticket from British Airways as long as fingerprinting is required"

All those with me respond "Aye"

Let's see

a) If they publish it. EDIT : They have.

b) If anyone responds

Otherwise, that's it, I'm looking for a new country to live in.

Anyone else who feels strongly may leave a comment. But make sure you respond "AYE" at the Telegraph first...

Roman Holiday

Chelsea tycoon Roman Abramavich is set to star opposite Simon Pegg in the much-awaited sequel to the hit comedy 'Shaun of the Dead'.

In the new blockbuster, set for release in April, Shaun and his friends have to negotiate the streets of the City and Belgravia, dodging dazed and confused investment bankers and financiers.

The outbreak is due to a recessive undead gene, though to be triggered by a regressive unfair tax demand.

In the hilarious finale, filmed this week at London's City airport, Shaun struggles to re-open the beleagured terminal, thereby allowing the hapless victims to leave the country for good.

Pegg enthused about his latest project

"We hadn't planned to make a sequel, but the opportunity to make the world's first non-dom zom rom com was too good to miss."

Alistair Darling is 54.

Rowan Williams Must Be Sacked

Archbishop of Canterbury calls for Sharia law

No I am not making this up.

"An approach to law which simply said - there's one law for everybody - I think that's a bit of a danger"

I'm struggling to think of anything MORE dangerous than a code of laws which DOESN'T apply to everybody.

The fact that your imaginary friend can pick and choose your laws you are subject to is a bit frightening. What's next - the Jedi code ?

And this man is supposed to be head of the Church of England. He is a woolly-headed idiot and a disgrace to his position.

Back for Bad

That's right - I've given up on everything to such an extent that I now have enough time to do whatever I want. Including this self-indulgent stream of bollocks.

Missed me ?

BarCodes

Sacking Allardyce after this short period, when they're safely mid-table and still in the cup. What a bunch of fucking morons. No wonder you've won fuck all in my considerable lifetime. Just 'cos you almost won something ten years ago (but finally bottled it completely) does not mean you have a divine right to European football. Knobheads.

My mood at the moment

Would everybody - and I really do mean everybody - please just fuck off and leave me alone. You're all talking shit.

What Tarot card are you ?

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Petition

Via Tim.

I don't normally bother with e-petitions. Total waste of time - the Government's not going to listen.

This one however, is important. An unelected bureaucracy is making a takeover bid for Europe, despite two sovereign nations voting it down, and our Government is complicit in nodding it through - even though it was a manifesto commitment at the last election that they would hold a referendum on the issue.

Once again, I have no hope that the Government will listen, even if they entire electorate were to sign it. However, it may at least succeed in publicising the issue, and embarrassing the equally spineless Tory party into opposing it, and maybe, just maybe, enough Labour MPs will discover a scrap of integrity and defect to scupper the passage of the bill.

Sign it today.

Yet another one

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ESFP)

Your personality type is playful, charming, open minded, and energetic. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 5% of all men You are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Who am I to argue with the Captain of the Enterprise ?

An impassioned commander with more respect for individuals than for authority, you have a no-holds-barred approach to life and its obstacles.

I don't believe in the no-win scenario.

Bob Woolmer

So police finally confirm what I had suspected and feared from the very first, that Bob Woolmer was murdered.

I'm the biggest cricket fan going, but I'm utterly sickened by this and I think the tournament should be cancelled. The ICC needs to send a signal that we would rather shut down the game than have this sort of thing go on. However, money calls the shots, the ICC are probably the weakest governing body in sport today, and so the tournament will continue. "It's what Bob would have wanted" they will say. Bollocks.

The rabid fans from the sub-continent who were chanting "Death to Woolmer" need to look at themselves and re-evaluate their priorities in life and behaviour. But they won't. Animals.

Swinging the lead

Andrew O'Hagan complains today that the furore over the Fredalo incident is due more to England and Freddie's poor form than morality.

Well, duh !

We all have our ways of misbehaving / skiving / acting unprofessionally. In my own organisation, there are one or two lunchtime drinkers, people spend varying amounts of work time on the internet, many disappear to the gym, there's blogging of course - you get my drift. The point is, there are three tacit rules that must be observed.

1..You have to be good at your job. So long as you are achieving, a blind eye will continue to be turned, provided the behaviour is not too unreasonable. After all, everyone here works long hours - you can't be 100% all the time.

2..When the pressure comes on and there are key deadlines/targets to hit, you pack it in and knuckle down.

3..Be discreet. If the customers get wind of it, management can't protect you.

Sadly, by getting caught boozing by the public/media, during a World Cup, while out of form, Flintoff has broken all three aspects of the omerta. The England management team had no choice, but to take action.

Hopefully, this will be the wake-up call he needs to regain his focus and form.